Travel Light.
Light
/līt/
adjective
1. of little weight; not heavy.
Travel light. These words have been lingering in my spirit for a few weeks now. A challenge that God gave me to evaluate the things that I carry as I walk with him; a challenge to drop the weighty things that are unknowingly tripping me up both physically and mentally.
This challenge seemed easy at first but has proved to be difficult. On this journey I realized that I have become comfortable with with heaviness and in many cases it has become a coping mechanism for feelings of emptiness and anxiety. The moment I feel anxiety or discomfort in stillness I begin to pick things up, think, plan, and worry.
My friend Rhea always jokes with me about how heavy my backpack is. I literally would carry everything in it. 3 journals, a planner, 30 pens, a full bag of washi-tape, computer, tablet, meds, earphones, backup earphones, plugs for every device, 2 bibles, 2 books and so much more. It’s ridiculous.
As God began to speak to me “Travel Light” I took it literally and evaluated my backpack and realized it was an unnecessary weight that was representative of my spiritual and mental life. I often have dreams about moves of God happening and all throughout the dream I would only be concerned about the whereabouts of my backpack. I realized that God is was always trying to alert me to something. He is constantly doing a new thing in my life, constantly moving on my behalf, granting me favor and blessing but I can’t see it because I am always so concerned with what’s next, what if, how come, and why them.
I have a real issue with carrying things that I don’t need to carry and things that I was never meant to carry. I worry about things that, in hindsight, don’t really matter at all. This issues for me stems from “what if”. “What if I don’t have everything I need?” “What if I’m not good enough?” “What if I run out of this?” “What if God doesn’t provide?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What if they think badly of me?” The “what ifs” never end. The these two words, “what if”, are the heaviest things we can carry and directly opposed these two words, “travel light”.
In recognizing this I realized that although some of the things I carry are not sin in and of themselves, my inability to lay them aside had made them idols, therefore sin and weight that is easily, yet unknowingly, tripping me up. Hebrews 12:1 admonishes us to lay aside every weight and sin that causes us to stumble. I think when we hear that scripture we think of natural things that may be causing us to stumble but our thoughts can become weight and I realized that the weight that I carry causes me to stumble into anxiety, stumble into discontentment, stumble into comparison, and trip right into distraction from time with God. It blocks me from seeing God fully for who he is and what he has done.
I made a decision over the past few weeks, to begin to lay these things aside as they come up. I call things out as I find myself weighted down and go to the word of God. Over the past few weeks I also… have forgotten the words, “travel light”, that God spoke to me. I’ve gotten extremely anxious and weighted about the future, about what God is doing in my life, and what I need to be doing. I’ve gotten anxious about turning 26 next week and I’ve even lost faith in God.
But God is so cool because even in my decision to lay aside weight and be intentional about it, he knew that I’d pick the weight back up along the way because of the comfort I’ve grown to have with it my entire. He understands me deeply and reminds me that this is a journey. He made me aware of it so he’ll do the work, it’s not for me to carry. He knows this is a process and as I find myself weighted down again and again he, in his merciful heart, will sweetly whisper to me again and again “travel light”.